Nothing is Greater Than Negative: How Depression can Build Yourself from the Ground Up (again, maybe.)

“Everything negative — pressure, challenges — is all the opportunity for me to rise.” — Kobe Bryant

Hello there, Kevin here. Yes, I know I haven’t been writing much, even in a bi-weekly basis now, but it is all because of my life is not revolved around writings. I have a job to do, my own mouth to feed, etc. Sorry for the sass. Hello again, Kevin here, thanks for waiting on my new piece. My piece de resistance is still that first story I wrote about my depression, and I think nothing beats that heartfelt memoir of my dysthymia. I don’t need to beat that, but at least I have another thing to write for.

Now, I wrote about the positive charges of being negative, like what makes you nearly die, not kills you, mind you, is actually sometimes makes you stronger. All stuff considered, negativity is sometimes push you through the fire, because not everyone is lucky enough to learn the hard way, let alone learn.

Depression’s Impressions.

So, here is an easy part. You have a stress, or depression like me, or maybe even more severe like dysthymia or PTSD per se. You have or had it since a long time, and nothing you can do is good enough for you because one of the thing that makes you think like that is that stress and depression and pressure that makes you never get satisfy with yourself, and look down on yourself a lot. What you can do about it, besides killing yourself or maybe getting crazy? Pondering about it right?

Pondering about how the situation and the condition that makes you like right now. Shit happens, right? but shit can be made into manure, which is functional and nutritious to the plants. So yeah, thinking positive towards that in the ironic way, whenever you are ready to do it. Don’t force yourself into forced positivity, that is unhealthy, which we talk about it later as well. Sometimes we have to see things only on our sides of things, but in more well-mannered and kind of way, so you don’t have to dwell into self-resentment and self-loathing again (read on my other writing about that, it’s good too)

Look into the Bottom of the Glass

Sometimes to understand things, we have to look deeper, and not just judge by the stuff that you see in the surface. Like drinking a nice fresh pint of that Lager Beer, you are sure to drink and glug it up until the last drop, and just usually, you don’t care about the bottom of the glass, you just chug it down, close your eyes, and savor the moment. That, my friend, is sometimes a way to go.

But, what you really have to notice is, sometimes when you enjoy the ride, don’t just savor the moment, but look into it, right in the front of their face. When you chug down the beer next time, try open your eyes and see it moves down your throat until your field of vision reached the bottom of the glass. This analogy actually relates to depression. On the surface, all the things are negative, because one, your level of stress is too high that your body is always aware of the unnecessary danger, and two, your mind was occupied with trying the hardest of your ability to be able to function.

It is normal actually, but with that shallow depth of field you get because of your skewed way of thinking, you’ll get not what you want, but what you think you want. It skewed your way of thinking by getting yourself into the danger of unnecessary things, like people behind you that doing nothing but checking their phone, into some paranoid shit that you imagined that most of the time won’t happened anyway.

Take a look at yourself, the problems that you have, and what kind of output you got that made you be what you are now. That is the bottom of the glass, the reality, the glass itself is just the process, you savor the process, but enjoy the results, whatever it may be.

May The Force(d Positivity) be With You.

This is actually the tough pill to swallow, because all of the things you get and you considered until now, sometimes something bad that happened you will look at it on the positive side and that shitty ass silver lining heeby jeebies. Admit it, shit happens, all the time, and what you can do at least is to make up for it, embrace that you do shit, and just accept things as it is. No need to try to prove that you can be still positive about things, and just acknowledge that you are human, and you make mistakes, a lot of it. Right down to 35.000 choices you made everyday in exception of your routinity, you will still make several thousands of it as a mistakes, or just fault by choices.

You don’t have to be positive or happy go lucky all the time, you just have to realized that nothing in this world is permanent, and all things considered, it is an uncontrollable benefactors that you cannot even perceive. What you can control is basically yourself, and stuff around you that is on your perimeter. Remember William Ernest Henley said on his classic Poem, ‘Invictus’, “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.” So that, kids, is how you perceive and know that the only controllable constant is your self and how you react to every bit of uncontrollable benefactors.

Lego Bricks of the Mind.

Depression is a disease, that is just the same as broken bones and stuffy nose. It can be healed, though it is a long time process. Support from others, and your mind that get put into it, is the main source of power to your greater good. You are the one that can see the end of the tunnel, and you are the only one that finally get into the finish line, alone. The important thing to do that makes you better is control yourself, seek professional if you need to, and just getting better along the way, don’t hope for that magical healing property that will came eventually, but the bottom of the glass, and the only positive of the negative is what you become now, the incremental updates of things that makes you stronger, makes you learn, and makes you more resistant to negativity, but not in the way of forced positivity, but a real, genuine one.

Stuff that will happen to me? I don’t know, and I cannot wait. I am progressing I am going through changes, I am what I am now, and I am who I am in the present, savoring the moment. Thanks for reading this, again, you are not alone, you are valid, and you are all encompassing human being that needs to be taken care of as well. Be well, do good. Don’t die, Fuck off.

“One small crack does not mean that you are broken, it means that you were put to the test and you didn’t fall apart.” — Linda Poindexter