“The individual is freed from the bondage of economic and political ties. He also gains in positive freedom by the active and independent role which he has to play in the new system. But simultaneously he is freed from those ties which used to be lived in a closed world the center of which was man; the world has become limitless and at the same time threatening.” — Erich Fromm
Hello again, Kevin here, at last I write again. Many things happened this past month, and I just happened to be savor the moment of change because of my affection, greed, and everything in between. Though I found the peace in the chaos that I have made, and it is pretty good to find one, rather than the other.
So, things happened, not one but many. Some are good, some are garbage town. Finding peace upon chaos is stuff that we rarely happened to meet nowadays. People find it hard to collect money, work, or even just steal and make their stomach full by any means necessary, just to make ends meet. But sometimes, all things considered, stuff that makes you learn about experience, both good and bad, are essentials to your learning curve through the life of yours. Why, you ask? because it is what makes you, a human being, you. It is like the iron hit by the blacksmith, all stuff happens are the hammer of the blacksmith to your personality.
Finding peace upon chaos is sometimes intriguing to our not so sophisticated minds, and chaos itself is things that we as human rather avoid, instead of embrace. We are made to be happy, not to struggle, so safe and sound are always our choice, even if it is temporary or even just a glimpse of it. Chaos ensues, and we’d rather die instead of having ourself facing the adversities. We are modeled to avoid adversities at all cost, and embrace happiness as long as possible. But life never have to be that way. I experience stuff, bad and good, in these past 11 months. I am thankful for it, though I was avoiding it altogether sometimes, or even wants to die because I was too anxious about it.
Yes, I am still trigger happy up until today, but I am better now, more than ever. I now have the inner demon rather than always becoming a scumbag, and I am thankful for what I’ve become today. I am not perfect, but I am what I am, I am me, and nothing I can do to change it, because I just want to be myself.
